October marks the One Year Anniversary for NicoleLee Photography. Pretty crazy, right?
An entire YEAR ago, I began praying for an open door. I began praying for the Lord to reveal to me an opportunity that would allow me to serve Him, serve others, provide an outlet for my creative energy, while providing supplemental income for the fam, AND allow me to still be home with my babies. Yes, I am a woman of tall orders (just ask my husband), but He is a God of Mighty Promise.
Within the past year, I have jumped so far out of my comfort zone that my head is still spinning in wonder. I'm a dreamer. Always have been. Whether my eyes are open or closed, I'm a dreamer. So, to sit here, in this spot, and reflect on how the Lord has made one of my dreams come true is, for lack of better terminology, pretty stinkin' cool.
While the blessings are bountiful and the excitement is ripe, I still catch myself reaching for the Lord asking, "Are You sure?!" Lord, are You sure this is where I am supposed to be? Are You sure this is what You want from me? Are You sure that late night editing sessions coupled with four early morning risers is all apart of Your plan? For me?! Almost as if I've forgotten that this is what I asked of Him. Tall orders and a constant need for reiteration on the original order. I know what you're thinking...
Amidst 13 sessions in need of edits, 4 more in the horizon (and by horizon, I mean week), and the balancing act of stay-at-home-mom-that-still-works-from-home, I literally threw my hands in the air in exhaustion, screaming "THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!", pleading for answers or a reminder or inspiration. And as I said above, He is a God of Mighty Promise...
Nearly five years ago, I had the privilege to pray for the sweet little boy below (I would have just said four, but N is quick to correct that he is almost five....in April...), as he was born with Spina Bifida. When his Mommy called me a few weeks ago about scheduling pictures, I was elated at the opportunity to finally meet him. I was also nervous at the opportunity to photograph him. I realize how that may sound, please do not misunderstand. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and in order to clearly explain myself, I must be transparent. I was nervous about his wheel chair. I was nervous about how my vision of him would be portrayed through my photographs. While I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that this little boy was going to be spectacular, I did not want my nervousness to hinder my work. Know this: my chief desire in photographing people is to capture who they are and what they have. We all have something. A gift from the Lord, inside of us, that shines. And when it shines, it shines bright. Also know this: I am my worst enemy. My worst critic. So, of course I would sell myself and my character short in thinking I would not be able to decide how to 'incorporate' his wheel chair. Again, the transparency thing.... just bear with me.
Last Saturday, I was introduced to this perfect, precious little dude. The words on the photograph speak volumes to the way I felt the moment I laid eyes on him. Meet N:
We had fabulous conversations about his good pals Woody and Jesse from Toy story, I met his cat, he taught me more about the President and presidents past in ten minutes than I learned from my American Government teacher in an entire year of school, and he stole every ounce of my heart sitting on his living room floor. After seeing his smile, all that mattered to me was having the chance to expose everything he has, and what he has shines bright, baby.
Aside from ingenuity and spunk, N has a little sister. Meet Miss B:
I know. Beauty at it's best, right? I get lost in her magical eyes. They give my heart rest. That may sound strange, but the patience and love behind those lookers could calm the fiercest storm. And while she was hardly impressed with my camera, like her big brother, she stole my heart.
This next series of photographs did me in. It was at the very moment I clicked Save on this collage that the Lord answered, "Yes. I am sure."
As you can see, the wheel chair didn't matter. It fits so insanely perfect in these pictures and in N's life. It's a part of what he has; what makes him shine. It's a part of the patience and love behind precious B's beautiful eyes. And it's the reason that after a year of trial and error and soul searching, I can humbly call myself a photographer. It wasn't until I was able to see past my insecurities,
my wheelchair, that I was able to fully understand why the Lord answered my prayer using photography.
To me, perfect lighting and snazzy Nikons are just extras in photography. To me, we can shoot anywhere. To me, an image that reflects God's perfect creation; an image that shines, is photography. To me, photography has nothing to do with skill or talent, but
everything to do with Him.
I may not know where NicoleLee Photography will be a year from now, but I do know that the girl behind the camera stands on the Promise of God. And with His help, she will continue to photograph His Creation in His Image and for His Purpose.
F Family, there are no words to express what our short time together has done for my heart. N has something inside of him that each person in this world needs. At the age of four, he has a greater understanding of what matters than most forty-year-olds. You taught him that. His determination coupled with his smile is a force to be reckoned with. He will move mountains! Miss B is bound to change lives with her love and patience. It's hard to believe that at a year old, a child can express such mature emotion. You taught her that. She is beautiful! Your children reflect your brightest attributes. No capes needed. F Family, you are my super hero's.
